Forgiveness

Abuse. Betrayal. Abandonment. Neglect. Harassment. Lies. Theft. Infidelity. Discrimination. Rejection. Murder. Rape.

Forgiveness.

At three years old, I experienced a traumatic event that altered the course of the rest of my life - every second, every minute, every hour, every day. The smooth and clear path set out before me at such an early age was smashed and demolished in one afternoon. What was left was a road filled with boulders, gravel and dust.

Salvation at the age of 22 didn’t keep me from reaching back and grabbing the stones of my wrecked road and using them to build a wall between me and my God. I didn’t want to forgive. I really didn’t feel like I should have to forgive. And the barrier grew.

Nearly a year ago I was walking through the supermarket when I finally made the decision to let go. It didn’t excuse my offender. It didn’t make it right. It didn’t make me any less harmed. What it did was free my soul.

Forgiveness isn’t an emotion. And it’s not just a choice we make. It’s a command. Not for those that have inflicted the hurt. The command is for us. When I was able to forgive, God took the stones that once came between us and used them as foundation for me to stand; mortared by the plans for my future and the tears He’d held the whole time.

When we’re wounded, our futures aren’t what they would have been. That’s always been the hardest part of my pain. What I’m finally learning is that, our futures are different, but not worse. Because of God’s presence – in the pain and in the promise – the futures built out of the crumbling stones of our pasts are so, so much greater than we’ll ever know.


Genesis 50:20
But as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.

Colossians 3:13
Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive.