"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14
As Christians, we are the light of this world. My flame has danced and flickered in the storm. It’s gotten stronger through the winds and torrential downpours. But, mostly, it just stays steady, rarely faltering, rarely growing.
Until now. I’ve learned something these past two weeks that has turned my life on its head and has altered my perception about absolutely everything. It’s a secret that remained hidden my entire lifetime and now I can’t wait to let the world know…
IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!! Hallelujah and praise You, Jesus! This world is not about ME.
Focusing on ME and MY problems and MY insecurities led to pit after lonely pit. Two weeks ago, I discovered that by focusing on God and what He desires for my life led to an overwhelming sense of contentment and satisfaction. I prayed and listened for what He wanted me to do, and where He wanted me to go. My daily conversations with myself shifted from ME to OTHERS.
ME - I shouldn’t have eaten all those carbs.
OTHERS - 20,000 children died today from hunger and preventable diseases.
ME - I don’t have anything to wear.
OTHERS - 3.5 million people, 1.35 million of them children, are likely to experience homelessness this year.
ME - I am so bored with my hair.
OTHERS - More than 600 women will be raped today.
ME - I only worked out an hour today.
OTHERS - Nearly 200,000 Indonesian children were sold into slavery this year alone.
ME - I despise my car!
OTHERS - 300,000 elderly Americans are living without communication with family members and will die alone.
ME – I really need new shoes
OTHERS – More than 500,000 Americans will die of cancer this year.
Me versus others. There really isn’t a doubt where my light is suffocated and where my light can shine. There are so many areas to help. Start a coat drive at a school, visit a nursing home, help feed the homeless, become a rape counselor, ‘adopt’ a child overseas for $38 a month, mentor a foster child, volunteer in the children’s ward of a hospital. And that’s my dare for you. Pray. Pray about where God wants you to place your focus and then pray for a passion that will set this world on fire.
The truth is that I can’t change this world. But He can. Let’s do this together and watch as our lights blend and chase out darkness.
Let’s let our lights shine! And start an inferno.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Forgiveness
Abuse. Betrayal. Abandonment. Neglect. Harassment. Lies. Theft. Infidelity. Discrimination. Rejection. Murder. Rape.
Forgiveness.
At three years old, I experienced a traumatic event that altered the course of the rest of my life - every second, every minute, every hour, every day. The smooth and clear path set out before me at such an early age was smashed and demolished in one afternoon. What was left was a road filled with boulders, gravel and dust.
Salvation at the age of 22 didn’t keep me from reaching back and grabbing the stones of my wrecked road and using them to build a wall between me and my God. I didn’t want to forgive. I really didn’t feel like I should have to forgive. And the barrier grew.
Nearly a year ago I was walking through the supermarket when I finally made the decision to let go. It didn’t excuse my offender. It didn’t make it right. It didn’t make me any less harmed. What it did was free my soul.
Forgiveness isn’t an emotion. And it’s not just a choice we make. It’s a command. Not for those that have inflicted the hurt. The command is for us. When I was able to forgive, God took the stones that once came between us and used them as foundation for me to stand; mortared by the plans for my future and the tears He’d held the whole time.
When we’re wounded, our futures aren’t what they would have been. That’s always been the hardest part of my pain. What I’m finally learning is that, our futures are different, but not worse. Because of God’s presence – in the pain and in the promise – the futures built out of the crumbling stones of our pasts are so, so much greater than we’ll ever know.
Genesis 50:20
But as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.
Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.
Colossians 3:13
Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive.
Forgiveness.
At three years old, I experienced a traumatic event that altered the course of the rest of my life - every second, every minute, every hour, every day. The smooth and clear path set out before me at such an early age was smashed and demolished in one afternoon. What was left was a road filled with boulders, gravel and dust.
Salvation at the age of 22 didn’t keep me from reaching back and grabbing the stones of my wrecked road and using them to build a wall between me and my God. I didn’t want to forgive. I really didn’t feel like I should have to forgive. And the barrier grew.
Nearly a year ago I was walking through the supermarket when I finally made the decision to let go. It didn’t excuse my offender. It didn’t make it right. It didn’t make me any less harmed. What it did was free my soul.
Forgiveness isn’t an emotion. And it’s not just a choice we make. It’s a command. Not for those that have inflicted the hurt. The command is for us. When I was able to forgive, God took the stones that once came between us and used them as foundation for me to stand; mortared by the plans for my future and the tears He’d held the whole time.
When we’re wounded, our futures aren’t what they would have been. That’s always been the hardest part of my pain. What I’m finally learning is that, our futures are different, but not worse. Because of God’s presence – in the pain and in the promise – the futures built out of the crumbling stones of our pasts are so, so much greater than we’ll ever know.
Genesis 50:20
But as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.
Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.
Colossians 3:13
Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive.
Kindergarten
I’ll call him Michael. He was the nose-picking, glue-eating kid that had his hand raised at all the inappropriate times, always said the exact wrong thing, opened the door when the little girls were in the bathroom and wore the school-issued pants because he wet himself every day 5 minutes into class. Most of us had ‘the one’ little kid in our Kindergarten class growing up. Michael was mine.
I have a Kindergartner of my own now. It took me all of 2 minutes in her class to realize that ‘the one’ has somehow multiplied over time to ‘the twelve’. Last week, I waited on the bench for her class outside the lunch room and observed the other classes going by. There was a kid twirling in circles, one pummeling the kid in front of him, another crying because the kid behind her called her a name, one jumping up and down smacking his bottom, and another laughing at him. While the teacher used her Kindergarten-teacher voice to put everyone in their place, I noticed a little boy near the back. He had one finger to his lips and his other hand was raised in the air. In the midst of it all, he had now become ‘the one’. In the middle of the din and mayhem surrounding him, he was calm and quiet – at peace.
Peace. Where does our peace come from? When financial troubles are twirling around us, we’re being emotionally pummeled by the things of this world, we’re distracted by the crazies of our society, and our faces our tear-streaked with loss. Our peace comes when we close our mouths and point our focus toward our Father, the greatest Teacher we’ll ever know. When we trust Him enough to be still, He will quiet our hearts to the turmoil in our path. He will calm our hurts and our fears with His voice. He will give us rest.
I want to quiet my mouth and my mind to hear His voice. I want Him to bring me peace when all that is around me is chaos. In a world filled with those that seek to destroy His name and His children, I want to stand out in the crowd.
Help me, Lord, everyday, to stand out for You. Help me to be ‘the one’.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11
Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
I have a Kindergartner of my own now. It took me all of 2 minutes in her class to realize that ‘the one’ has somehow multiplied over time to ‘the twelve’. Last week, I waited on the bench for her class outside the lunch room and observed the other classes going by. There was a kid twirling in circles, one pummeling the kid in front of him, another crying because the kid behind her called her a name, one jumping up and down smacking his bottom, and another laughing at him. While the teacher used her Kindergarten-teacher voice to put everyone in their place, I noticed a little boy near the back. He had one finger to his lips and his other hand was raised in the air. In the midst of it all, he had now become ‘the one’. In the middle of the din and mayhem surrounding him, he was calm and quiet – at peace.
Peace. Where does our peace come from? When financial troubles are twirling around us, we’re being emotionally pummeled by the things of this world, we’re distracted by the crazies of our society, and our faces our tear-streaked with loss. Our peace comes when we close our mouths and point our focus toward our Father, the greatest Teacher we’ll ever know. When we trust Him enough to be still, He will quiet our hearts to the turmoil in our path. He will calm our hurts and our fears with His voice. He will give us rest.
I want to quiet my mouth and my mind to hear His voice. I want Him to bring me peace when all that is around me is chaos. In a world filled with those that seek to destroy His name and His children, I want to stand out in the crowd.
Help me, Lord, everyday, to stand out for You. Help me to be ‘the one’.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11
Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
How Can You Forgive That
What do you do when the drudge and muck of the past splatters onto your present, muddying your future.
So many times I will be going through the normalcy of life when suddenly the memory of a well hidden sin will assault my thoughts. My head jerks back as if I’ve been physically slapped and I cringe to clear my mind.
My God, how can you forgive that?
My 5 year old, Evynn, came to me one morning, head down, crying. She took me to her room where she showed me her clean white sheets, stained where a marker had bled dry. The rules were clear – no markers in the bed. She sobbed harder as her head bowed lower and she cried, “I’m sorry!” I held her, so grateful for the remorse in her heart. When I cleaned the sheets, no trace of the stain remained. I put the sheets back on her bed, and covered them with her comforter. When I put her to bed that night, Evynn was quick to notice, “The stain’s gone!!”
Evynn messed up. She had a consequence to her sin, she repented and she knows to never let that happen again. As for me, I never peel back her comforter and think of where the stain had been. All I see is clean white sheets.
We all mess up. We all have consequences to our sin. And if we repent, we will all be forgiven. The stains are gone, covered over by our Comforter.
My God, how can you forgive that?
And He whispers to my heart…
My Child. Forgive what?
"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"
Acts 3:19
"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12
So many times I will be going through the normalcy of life when suddenly the memory of a well hidden sin will assault my thoughts. My head jerks back as if I’ve been physically slapped and I cringe to clear my mind.
My God, how can you forgive that?
My 5 year old, Evynn, came to me one morning, head down, crying. She took me to her room where she showed me her clean white sheets, stained where a marker had bled dry. The rules were clear – no markers in the bed. She sobbed harder as her head bowed lower and she cried, “I’m sorry!” I held her, so grateful for the remorse in her heart. When I cleaned the sheets, no trace of the stain remained. I put the sheets back on her bed, and covered them with her comforter. When I put her to bed that night, Evynn was quick to notice, “The stain’s gone!!”
Evynn messed up. She had a consequence to her sin, she repented and she knows to never let that happen again. As for me, I never peel back her comforter and think of where the stain had been. All I see is clean white sheets.
We all mess up. We all have consequences to our sin. And if we repent, we will all be forgiven. The stains are gone, covered over by our Comforter.
My God, how can you forgive that?
And He whispers to my heart…
My Child. Forgive what?
"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"
Acts 3:19
"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12
But, What About Me?
“I asked Dominique if she knew Jesus and she didn’t. So, I told her how to ask Him into her heart.” Since Kindergarten, Rhyan has made it her mission to ask every child and teacher in her class, in the class next to her, on the playground, and in the lunch room if they know Jesus. She’s been ridiculed and has gotten in trouble for speaking His name. While we tell her the importance of planting the seed, her passion drives her to water and over water. I can only think that her Jesus is so very proud of her.
But, what about me?
In his book, ‘Radical’, James Platt speaks of underground churches in countries without the freedom to worship or speak of Jesus. These men and women risk imprisonment, torture, even their lives and the lives of their family, yet they continue to spread His Word. I see my child written in between the lines of his book.
But, what about me?
I spend my life focused on my own agenda. I center my thoughts on our finances, working out, shopping, fussing over my house, coordinating our clothes. And my Bible is touched only a few spare minutes a day, as long as my day isn’t too busy. I see others in my life filled with peace and contentment.
But, what about me?
I’M SO SICK OF MYSELF! But, in a good way. I’m at a point where I deeply desire to die to my Self and live for Christ. I have the freedom to worship Him, to speak His name, to tell the whole world about Him. And yet I continue to ask myself, “How can I do that!”
The answer is very simple. How can I not.
Dear Lord,
I pray to die to my Self. I pray that, like Rhyan, I find myself talking about You to anyone near me. I pray that You set me on fire for You and that Your LOVE fills me up to overflowing to all that surround me. I praise You for my freedom. And I pray I start using it to the best of my ability.
In Your name,
Amen
But, what about me?
In his book, ‘Radical’, James Platt speaks of underground churches in countries without the freedom to worship or speak of Jesus. These men and women risk imprisonment, torture, even their lives and the lives of their family, yet they continue to spread His Word. I see my child written in between the lines of his book.
But, what about me?
I spend my life focused on my own agenda. I center my thoughts on our finances, working out, shopping, fussing over my house, coordinating our clothes. And my Bible is touched only a few spare minutes a day, as long as my day isn’t too busy. I see others in my life filled with peace and contentment.
But, what about me?
I’M SO SICK OF MYSELF! But, in a good way. I’m at a point where I deeply desire to die to my Self and live for Christ. I have the freedom to worship Him, to speak His name, to tell the whole world about Him. And yet I continue to ask myself, “How can I do that!”
The answer is very simple. How can I not.
Dear Lord,
I pray to die to my Self. I pray that, like Rhyan, I find myself talking about You to anyone near me. I pray that You set me on fire for You and that Your LOVE fills me up to overflowing to all that surround me. I praise You for my freedom. And I pray I start using it to the best of my ability.
In Your name,
Amen
The Next Chapter
I walked her to her chair and let go. As I closed her classroom door, I saw her reach for me and I signed, “I love you”. I could never love you more.
The closing of the car door symbolized the closing of the grandest chapter of my life. For nine years, my title has been ‘Mommy’ and I was more than happy to find my identity in that one word. With Evynn’s first day of Kindergarten, I found myself asking, “Who am I now?”.
That morning, I cried out to God. He knew my loneliness, He felt my heartache. And then He gave me peace.
I’m finding that with every life change comes a season of transition and adjustment. Change is inevitable, whether that change is for the best or it feels like it’s for the worst. But, with change comes opportunities that we wouldn’t have had before. Behind those opportunities lie the doors to our new or altered identities. And when our Father is in control of which doors open and which doors remain locked, then we can have faith that we are safe and loved to walk through to the other side – and find who we are in our next chapter.
The closing of the car door symbolized the closing of the grandest chapter of my life. For nine years, my title has been ‘Mommy’ and I was more than happy to find my identity in that one word. With Evynn’s first day of Kindergarten, I found myself asking, “Who am I now?”.
That morning, I cried out to God. He knew my loneliness, He felt my heartache. And then He gave me peace.
I’m finding that with every life change comes a season of transition and adjustment. Change is inevitable, whether that change is for the best or it feels like it’s for the worst. But, with change comes opportunities that we wouldn’t have had before. Behind those opportunities lie the doors to our new or altered identities. And when our Father is in control of which doors open and which doors remain locked, then we can have faith that we are safe and loved to walk through to the other side – and find who we are in our next chapter.
Go Seek
Rhyan was 2 years old when we played hide and seek for the first time. Matt and I closed our eyes and counted to ten. When we turned around, Rhyan was lying in the middle of the floor in front of us, face-down, with her hands over her ears.
Sometimes I feel like we do that with God. We go through a difficult time and we fall to the floor, close our eyes and cover our ears. We try to hide from Him and our problems, and all the while He’s standing right beside us. He can see us when we’ve fallen. He knows when we feel hopeless and helpless. And yet, we try to disappear. Most of us find ourselves in that position now and again.
Life is hard, more often than not, and that’s when we need to uncover our eyes and look up. It’s time to quit hiding.
Go seek.
Sometimes I feel like we do that with God. We go through a difficult time and we fall to the floor, close our eyes and cover our ears. We try to hide from Him and our problems, and all the while He’s standing right beside us. He can see us when we’ve fallen. He knows when we feel hopeless and helpless. And yet, we try to disappear. Most of us find ourselves in that position now and again.
Life is hard, more often than not, and that’s when we need to uncover our eyes and look up. It’s time to quit hiding.
Go seek.
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